What They Don't Tell You in Health Class

I tend to shy away from blogging or even discussing controversial topics in real life, but this is one I've become so passionate about. I'm going to be completely honest and transparent about my own thoughts and views, and how they've evolved over the years.


Most of us can remember sitting through that middle school health class learning about the birds and the bees. We remember the eyerolls, the giggles, and the overall awkwardness of it all. In my case, I also remember being split up from the boys and having an all-girls session about periods, sex, and pregnancy. We were told the basics - what changes your body goes through during menstruation, how you can and can't get pregnant, and what types of birth control are available. That was really the extent of it. I don't recall much talk of embryos, fetuses, or anything of that sort.

That's all I ever really learned about those subjects, aside from what I heard from my friends, classmates, TV, the internet, etc. From that little bit of knowledge, I drew my own conclusion about abortion. I felt it was okay for a woman to make that decision, and it was especially okay in cases of rape or incest. Afterall, it's just a ball of cells and it doesn't become an actual baby for several months. So, no big deal in my book. For years I maintained that very ignorant and uninformed opinion. At one point, I even entertained the idea of abortion in my own young mind, in the event that I made a mistake and became pregnant.

Years later, I did become pregnant (not by accident) and my world was rocked. I still knew little about pregnancy and babies in general. All I knew was that my body was no longer only mine. Everything I did was directly affecting another human life. That thought came to me inherently, without even seeing this child that was growing inside me.

At my very first prenatal appointment, I had no idea what to expect. Josh waited for me in the waiting room because we assumed it would be a pretty routine appointment - questions, pregnancy test, forms to fill out, weight, all that good stuff. Little did we know they were actually doing an ultrasound that day. When the doctor wheeled the machine into the room, I still wasn't expecting to see much. I was onlyabout 7 weeks pregnant. Surely this baby wouldn't look like anything more than a "ball of cells" this early in the game, like I had always thought.

And here came my shock of a lifetime...

Above: Noah at 7 weeks

If that doesn't do enough for you, here is what we all look like at 12 weeks...

Holy crap! There was an actual baby in there! He bounced around in my tummy the entire time, his little arms and legs just bending and kicking like nobody's business. In that moment, as tears filled my eyes, everything I thought I knew went out the door. I became a whole new person. New beliefs, a new outlook, a new purpose.

Just one short week later, another ultrasound revealed an even more baby-like image..

Above: Noah at 8 weeks

As you can imagine, with each appointment and ultrasound, my feelings only grew stronger for this little miracle I was carrying. And my heart grew softer towards all babies in general. They're so small, so innocent, so fragile, so dependent on us as adults and doctors to keep them safe and healthy.

They are people.

Above: A baby at 24 weeks

So all this brings me to the topic of abortion, which I am obviously against.

I realize even if abortion clinics were shut down, some people would just take the matter into their own hands (literally) and rid themselves of the baby without assistance from a doctor. And that's why awareness is the only place to start. There are teens and women, just like me, who have no idea what a 7-week-old fetus looks like. They don't know a mother can feel her baby move and kick as early as 12 weeks. I didn't know until I felt it. I remember the exact day and place. It's not a feeling a mother ever forgets.

I still don't know if middle school was (or is) the appropriate venue for these types of discussions. Ideally, I would love to see real prenatal visits/ ultrasounds (or even recorded ones) worked into the sex-ed syllabus. While I understand many people feel it is not a school or teacher's responsibility - let's face it, sometimes that is the only place reliable and factual information is available. And if they're already on the topics of puberty and sex, what is the real harm in taking it a step further with the teaching of gestation and birth? It's a natural part of life.

At the least, I think it's extremely important for parents to have these talks with their children - both boys and girls - when the time is right. You can bet when Noah reaches an age of knowing about sex, I will be sharing all this information with him. Of course I don't want him getting a girl pregnant, but I also don't want him pressuring anyone to have an abortion because together they made a mistake and think abortion is the easy and risk-free way out. It's just not.

Like I said, I'm not looking to debate - just educate. If I can save one baby by posting this, then it's worth it. It is imperative to know that you're carrying a baby - not just some mass of crazy science-fiction-like cells that miraculously turn into a human being at 8 or 9 months.

**Disclaimer: I completely understand that for some women it is medically necessary to terminate a pregnancy for the safety of herself and her child. The views I have expressed here are not at all related to that scenario. My heart goes out to those women, who live with the pain of loss for a lifetime.**